The Real Bridemaids' Etiquette Guide.

While it was hilarious to watch on the big screen, no bride wants to deal with the drama of a horrible bridesmaid! So, in honor of the release of the hit comedy, Bridemaids, we offer a little advice to keep YOU from being like one of the nut cases in the movie. Here are a few things every bridesmaid should do (even if the bride would never ask you to do it!)

•Pretend you're interested.

Ok, so it's just another party to you. But to the bride, it's the biggest day of her life! Be prepared for her to send you constant emails with photos of ceremony locations, dress styles, flower arrangements and favors. Be ready for her to ask you a million questions and solicit tons of opinions... only to go with her original idea in the first place. Even if you couldn't care less whether she uses linen or silk for her tablecloths, PRETEND that you do! She's asking your opinion because she values your relationship. Call her every now and then to see how the planning is going. Send her a few suggestions or inspiration boards to show her you're thinking about her. It may seem silly, but it will make her day! So suck it up, because when your time comes you'll appreciate the same treatment.

•Tag along for her gown search.

Even if you've got better things to do than spend all day looking at hundreds of white dresses, don't make the bride go at it alone! After a while, they all start to look the same and she's going to need your help. Keep her focused on her original wish list. And to make things a little more fun - call ahead of time and see if you can bring a bottle of champagne to really make the day special. Ask if photos are allowed, so you can document the day and help the bride keep a record of her favorite looks. And if you can't snap photos (some high end shops don't allow it) make sure your cell phone is charged so you can sneak the photos for her! She'll appreciate it, promise.

•Make her wear the embarrassing bachelorette party gear, even if she protests!

She may swear up and down that she doesn't want to wear the poufy headband veil, blinking sash, or drink out of a penis straw. But get her all that cheesy gear anyway! I'll tell you this from experience, she will be bummed out if her girls show up to the bachelorette party with nothing. Being a bride is the one time she can get away with stealing the spotlight and acting like a fool. And it's the bridesmaids' job to help her do it! It really will make her feel special to see that her girls went out and got all the stuff to let the world know SHE is the bride. Plus, it'll make for some great photos.

•Help her groom-to-be follow the rules.

Most guys don't know all of the traditional rules of the wedding process. So, be that little birdie that drops hints and reminders. Help him stay on track with the tux fittings, remind him that the groom usually sends the bride a gift and/or heartfelt letter while she's getting ready on the big day. And, let him know EXACTLY what is and isn't OK for the bachelor party. Every couple is different, the bride may be just fine with his drunken night of debauchery at a strip club. For other brides, this is a deal breaker. So, find out what she thinks and spread the word to the groom and his boys. The bride may not want to seem too controlling or bossy, but YOU don't have to worry about coming off as the hell bent enforcer!

•Keep the moms in check, if you dare!

After working in the bridal industry, I can't tell you how many times we'd see the mother of the bride or groom running the show. From the wedding gown, to the ceremony, even down to the flowers... moms can find it hard to let the bride make her own decisions, especially if they're the one footing the bill. If you've got a close enough relationship with the bride and her family, maybe you can help keep the moms in their place. When they get bossy, maybe YOU can be the one to ask the bride what SHE thinks. Say something like, "That's a great suggestion, but since Susie will be the one wearing let's see how SHE feels... Susie?" It's better you receive the evil eye and deal with the stress than the bride herself. Take one for the team; this should be a happy time for her!

•Be a "Positive Polly"

Wedding planning can become overwhelming and there are too many Negative Nancys out there who can easily bring the bride down. Help her keep things in perspective. YES, there are a ton of choices to make, but at the end of the day, she's planning what should be the happiest day of her life. She's preparing to marry the man she loves. Help her keep sight of that fact and you will have done your job well!

Upcoming African Malkia Designers

With my Love for Jewelry I came across Bella with upcoming African women designers.

Jewelry designer #1 — Jaz Jewelz.

  

                                                                             JazJewelz makes use of a variety of natural materials;seeds, fossils, feathers, shells, and semi-precious stones. 

On the right are Earrings by Jaz Jewelz. These are her 14 karat gold filled and amethyst briolette earrings, to give you an idea of her style.

Jewelry designer #2 — KFleye. 

KFleye’s jewelry is not for shy girls or shrinking violets. If you’re the kind of woman who loves turning heads with truly unique, statement making jewelry, prepare to fall in love. Its designed by Kelley Moseley, her jewelry is most often made from leather, stone, wire and acrylic, and many of her pieces are definitely conversation starters

On the right is Her metallic earrings are quirky, unique, and give you just a sample of KFleye’s style!

Jewelry designer #3 — Cab Crochet.

Cheryl is a breast cancer survivor! Cheryl’s jewelry is made from thread and wire, and as the name would indicate, it’s all about crochet. Her big, bright crochet earrings just define summertime outdoor festival chic, They’re very fly and cool while still being feminine and classic.

Check out her Hoop x 4 earrings, just $15, super lightweight, and timelessly chic! Click here to follow her on Facebook

earrings by Cabcrochet

Jewelry designer #4 – Lingua Nigra.

Bold, edgy and fierce – Lingua Nigra jewelry is not for the timid. Made in Brooklyn by Alicia Goodwin, Lingua Nigra means “black tongue,” and her jewelry is best described as organically funky.

brass, gold, coins, and etched sterling silver to handcraft truly unique adornments.

If you think I need her Alien Key necklace in my life! Click here to follow her on Facebook.

On the right is a Gold metallic chain made Lingua Nigra







Jewelry designer #5 – Adha Zelma.

OK, so Adha Zelma isn’t a person. It’s the name of the jewelry line made by Brooklyn-based designers Cherise TrahanMiller and Sheanan Bond. All I can say is, this is jewelry for rock stars. If you’re a lady who wears studs and button earrings, Adha Zelma may not be for you. But if you’re a performer at heart, if you love the kind of jewelry that a rock star would wear, don’t look any further. Feathers, abalone, moonstone, 24 karat gold – these designers create audacious jewelry out of an interesting collection of materials.

worn earrings by Adha Zelma

Cherise TrahanMiller              Sheanan Bond         

Like this article? Read the full story: Up and Coming Jewelry Designers You Should Know! | Afrobella http://www.afrobella.com/2011/06/30/up-and-coming-jewelers-you-should-know/#ixzz1VTwsoJMR

KNOW YOUR HEALTH: DEPRESSION

What is depression?

Many factors contribute to depression

The word 'depression' causes much confusion. It's often used to describe when someone is feeling 'low', 'miserable', 'in a mood' or having 'got out of bed on the wrong side'.

However, doctors use the word in two different ways. They can use it to describe the symptom of a 'low mood', or to refer to a specific illness, ie a 'depressive illness'. This factsheet relates to depression, the illness.

This confusion is made all the worse because it is often difficult to tell the difference between feeling gloomy and having a depressive illness.

Doctors make a diagnosis of depression after assessing the severity of the low mood, other associated symptoms and the duration of the problem.

Depression is very common. Almost anybody can develop the illness; it's certainly NOT a sign of weakness.

Depression is also treatable. You may need to see a doctor, but there are things you can do yourself or things you can do to help somebody suffering from the illness.

What you cannot do is 'pull yourself together' – no matter whether this is what you think you should be able to do or what other people tell you to do.

People who have experienced an episode of depression are at risk of developing another in the future. A small proportion may experience an episode of depression as part of a bipolar affective disorder (manic depression), which is characterised by episodes of both low and high moods.

Who gets depressed?

• Depression is very common.
• Women are twice as likely to get depression as men.

Getting depression is not a sign of weakness. There are no particular 'personality types' that are more at risk than others.

However, some risk factors have been identified. These include inherited (genetic) factors – such as having parents or grandparents, who have suffered from depression, and non-genetic factors – such as the death of a parent when you were young.

What causes depression?

• We do not fully understand the causes of depression.
• Genes or early life experiences may make some people vulnerable.
• Stressful life events, such as losing a job or a relationship ending, may trigger an episode of depression.
• Depression can be triggered by some physical illnesses, drug treatments and recreational drugs.

It's often impossible to identify a 'cause' in many people, and this can be distressing for people who want to understand the reasons why they are ill. However depression, like any illness, can strike for no apparent reason.

So It's clear that there are definite changes in the way the brain works when a person is depressed.

Symptoms of depression

Stress can lead to you to feeling 'down' and 'miserable'. What is different about a depressive illness is that these feelings last for weeks or months, rather than days.

In addition to feeling low most or all of the time, many other symptoms can occur in depressive illness (though not everybody has every one).

• Being unable to gain pleasure from activities that normally would be pleasurable.
• Losing interest in normal activities, hobbies and everyday life.
• Feeling tired all of the time and having no energy.
• Difficulty sleeping or waking early in the morning (though some feel that they can't get out of bed and 'face the world').
• Having a poor appetite, no interest in food and losing weight (though some people overeat and put on weight – 'comfort eating').
• Losing interest in sex.
• Finding it difficult to concentrate and think straight.
• Feeling restless, tense and anxious.
• Being irritable.
• Losing self-confidence.
• Avoiding other people.
• Finding it harder than usual to make decisions.
• Feeling useless and inadequate – 'a waste of space'.
• Feeling guilty about who you are and what you have done.
• Feeling hopeless – that nothing will make things better.
• Thinking about suicide – this is very common. If you feel this way, talk to somebody about it. If you think somebody else might be thinking this way, ask them about it – it will not make them more likely to commit suicide.

Treatments for depression

Sometimes when we are going through a 'bad patch' in our life, it's enough to talk through our problems with a friend or relative. However, this may not be enough and we may need to seek professional help. The important thing to remember about depression is that it's treatable. There are many different types of treatment. These include medication and talking therapies (psychotherapy).

Psychotherapy

There are many different forms of psychotherapy.

• Simply talking to somebody or your doctor about your problems is a form of psychotherapy and can help greatly rather than 'bottling-up' your emotions.
• More formal psychotherapy includes counseling, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) and dynamic psychotherapy or psychoanalysis.

As a general, rule psychotherapies are as effective as medication for the treatment of mild depression. However, for more severe illnesses, medication is likely to be needed but may be supplemented with psychotherapy. Exactly which type of therapy a doctor recommends depends on the particular problems a patient is suffering from, the views of the patient and local availability of psychotherapy. 

Medication

• Antidepressant medication (for example fluoxetine) helps to correct the 'low' mood and other symptoms experienced during depression – they are NOT 'happy pills'.
• Antidepressants do not change your personality.
• Antidepressants are NOT addictive.

In the last few years, there has been an explosion of new antidepressant medications. The main advantage of these new drugs is that they have fewer side effects than older drugs and so are more pleasant to take.

What to do if you are depressed

• Talk to people about how you feel. Don't bottle things up.
• Although you may not be able to do the things you normally would (such as work), try to keep active as much as you can. Lying in bed or sitting thinking about your problems can make them seem worse. Physical exercise can also help depression and keep your mind off your worries.
• Do not increase your alcohol intake to try and 'drown your sorrows' or help you sleep better. Alcohol will only make the depression worse and harder to treat.
• If you are having problems sleeping, try not to lie in bed thinking about your problems and anxieties. Do something to take your mind off your worries, such as reading or listening to the radio.
• Self-help books may be helpful. Check out the health section of any good bookshop.
• If you are feeling suicidal or desperate contact a voluntary sector organisation, such as the Samaritans.
• Always remember that you are suffering from an illness. It is not you being weak, and you can NOT simply 'pull yourself together'. Your illness is treatable. You are also NOT ALONE. Depression is extremely common.

What to do if you know somebody who is depressed

Sometimes people are not aware that they are depressed. This can happen when the depression comes on slowly. In addition many people suffering from depression blame themselves for not coping as they normally would, rather than thinking there might be some illness that has caused them to be this way. The illness can make a person think that it would be a sign of weakness to seek help for their difficulties. If you think that this has happened to somebody, you should try to talk to him or her about it.

Also try to remember the following.

• Listening can really help.
• Avoid saying, 'pull yourself together' or other remarks that make the person think that it is their fault that they are ill.
• If the person's problems do not sort themselves out in a week or so, suggest that the person seek professional help. Remind the person that this is not a sign of weakness or of being a failure.
• Don't nag the person or try to get them to do what they normally would. Remember they are suffering from an illness.
• Remind the person that they have an illness, it's not their fault and they'll get better no matter how hopeless they feel.
• Try to help them avoid resorting to alcohol, which does not help the situation. If the person talks of harming themself or committing suicide, take this seriously. Insist that they see a doctor.
• Remember that it does NOT increase the chances of a person committing suicide to talk to them about it.

Reviewed by Dr Ciaran Mulholland, MRC clinical scientist, senior lecturer and honorary consultant psychiatrist